The Day I Lost My Hair

When people think of chemo they automatically think of hair loss. I get asked a lot what it was like losing my hair. Losing your hair stinks, but not for the reason people think.
Before I started chemo I was least worried about losing my hair. There were so many positives!
It's hair.
It'll grow back fresh and new.
I won't have to worry about washing it or doing it.
It will be great for the hot summer months.
I had my long blonde hair and I didn't look like I had cancer yet. I didn't realize how big of a deal it was.
When I cut my hair short I got lots of comments especially from people who didn't know what was going on. It was actually funny to see people's reactions. The "why on earth would you cut your hair??" and the "um wow, that's a great summer haircut..." and "did you donate it?" I just had to chuckle to myself. They'd figure out I have cancer sooner or later.
I'm so glad I cut it because having it long would have been worse. On the ride home from my second dose of chemo I could grab my hair and pull out chunks. It was so weird. The next morning, I had hair all over my pillow. I hopped in the shower after Don went to work and the kids were gone. Handfuls of hair kept falling out. Any time I ran my fingers through my hair a wad of it was left in my hand or on the bottom of the shower. I was bawling. It wasn't so much about the hair. It was the realization that this is really happening. I was officially in the throws of cancer treatment. I have cancer and now I look and feel like I have cancer. That is the reason why it's hard to lose your hair. My sister in law came over and Don came home from work just to shave my head. We had fun with it making me look like an old man while shaving it. Maybe we had a little too much fun.
My head gets cold easily now. Showers are really fast with no hair on my body so that's a perk. Yes, it will grow back, but unfortunately I'll have to deal with all those awkward stages of growing my hair out. I'm afraid I might look like a transvestite with no boobs and short hair for awhile haha oh well! I admire every girl's hair and breasts now. All the moms complaining about their greasy mom hair and I'm over here wishing I had hair to get greasy. All these women thinking they need boob jobs to look better and I'm over here wishing I could keep the real thing. It makes me sad we as women don't appreciate our bodies. All my women parts are being taken away from me and I will have scars for the rest of my life, but it doesn't change who I am. It doesn't change the fact that I'm a mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend. I got to have periods, bare children and breastfeed them. I've been able to experience all the womanly body experiences on earth before I got cancer. For that I am so grateful.